Monday, September 10, 2012

Syawal Menjelma Lagi.......

Assalamualaikum w.b.t..

Today's post will be about my Syawal's at my hometown.
First of all, I'd like to wish you Salam Eidulfitri, maaf zahir batin.
Even raya's month nearly catch the tip of it but it's not too late for me the tell the story merely a little piece of it in my blog. 

First of syawal - 19 Ogos 2012

This is the first year we celebrate syawal without my Grandma's appearance.
Firstly I feel so wonder why I did not rush early in the morning.  Everythings goes slow and I feel like why aa?  Then I realized one thing.  I try to recall, the years of past syawal.  First thing I do early in the morning is come into granny's room, take her to bath, prepare her cloth,  feed her and makes her beautiful lady.  Now, me no longer have an opportunity to do those thing.  But, me myself feel so grateful because I ever had that opportunity to take care of my grandmother and what makes me feel so touch is she ever told me a week before she passed away "kaulah cucuku yang lemah lembut menjaga nenek", me so damn much feels like crying when she told me that and I know her time will come soon. Missed you so much nenek.

Raya pertama kami sekeluarga bermula dengan menunggu kehadiran tetamu yang singgah beraya dari jam 9 pagi sehingga 3 petang.  Rancangan awal mau tutup rumah jam 1tengahari tapi tetamu tak putus-putus berkunjung. Last2 jam 3 petang baru dapat tutup rumah dan pergi beraya mengunjungi saudara mara jauh dan dekat.  Seriously  I told you, this is the first time ever kami sekeluarga dapat beraya beramai-ramai di hari raya pertama.  Mungkin sebab nenek dah takde so kitorang dah tak berganti-ganti beraya sebab mesti ada yang tunggu kat rumah untuk jaga nenek and tunggu saudara mara serta tetamu yang datang menziarahi nenek. Kami sekeluarga beraya sehingga menjelang maghrib.  Maghrib je kami pun balik rumah dan berehat untuk menunggu esok hari bagi menyambung lagi perayaan kami. eh? haha

This photo taken masa raya pertama time tetamu tengah ramai kat depan.  me plak duduk merehatkan diri sebentar bermain dengan anakbuah aku yang super extreme nakal agresif nazhim and memeow the potet kucing mysis amenz.




Raya kedua:
Raya kedua adalah hari beraya bersama keluarga dari pagi hingga ke petang dari kerasik hingga ke pinggan-pinggan.  hehe.. me plak raya kedua wearing turqoise kurong pahang. No pics allowed cos forgot to take some.  excited raya punya pasal kan sebab takpernah-pernah beraya sakan ke rumah orang.  Selalu duduk rumah je tunggu orang datang.  ehehehe... tu jelah.

Raya ketiga:

This raya ketiga adalah Hari Majlis Pertunangan Sepupu Sepapat aku,. so awal pagi dah datang ke rumah mereka untuk membantu apa yang perlu.  Apa yang perlu tu? hehe..me, mysis amenz, and my superb cousin ara menyediakan salad buah untuk kenduri.  from eight til 11am kitorang struggling menyiapkan salad tu then menyusun kedudukan meja banquet utk makan thari nanti. pastu kitorang balik umah dolu untuk bercantik. haha.. so below is the photos of mine and my cuzzy yang bertunang tu.  She's so sweet.  nah tunang orang sudah. me bila lagi? opsss.. i want an engineer. ahaahaha.. kidding. ;)



Left: Mizriani (my cousin belah mymum anak my pakngah) Right on the right is me wearing purple my fav color okay!!
Nah telah menjadi tunangan zul yang nama sebenarnya aku pun ndak tau..haha..yang penting si zul ni anak kepada pakcik aku sebelah mymum iaitu abang sepupu mymum belah my late grandmother.
Akulah fotographer aku la jua tukang bawa dulang.. bila plak turn aku sampai ye and yg paling penting ada ke yang nak berkhidmat untuk aku macam ni?? ermm...tunggu jela deq oiiii
HOwever it is, this is my superhero. Always in my heart. My dear Farhan.  Love you so much cayanggggg

Raya keempat,

Tunggu punya tunggu punya tunggu janji punya janji punya janji akhirnya datang juga si kawan baik aku ini.  Raya keempat tu kami menjalankan misi berada di rumah sahaja tanpa arah tujuan kerana tak lama lagi majlis perkahwinan sepupu sebelah my mum diadakan di rumah kami.  So, malam tu selepas makcik makcik aku memotong daging kat dapur maka datanglah encik mohd hishamuddin ini beraya di rumah aku.  Sebelum  ni dia memang nak datang tapi ada je halangan.  siap order kek coklat lagi macam tahun tahun lepas but this year aku tak buat dah kek coklat.  Turn mysis amenz yang menguasai bab2 tu. So my amen pun buatkan la si mamat ni kekcoklat kegemarannya. eh, he is my bestfriend tau!! close friend yang suweeettt... haha



 skip terus ke raya ke 6 ye,.. hehe
 Raya ke6 adalah majlis pernikahan thus persandingan my cuzzie di kediaman kami... jengjengjeng..below is da photo of pelamin's designer cik dyg norliza a.k.a my along. memang talent dia la kalau bab2 design ni.. nasib je jadi Pen. Pegawai Farmasi, kalau tak konferm dah ada kedai bridal dah kami.. hehe... dan seterusnya let the photos tell the story la.. malas eden mau beceloteh panjang.. apa apa pun raya memang meriah..weeeee.....



 










Ni raya yang ke berapa puluh dah ni..haha..beraya di kota raya a.k.a from pandan jaya to midvalley and so what?? aku drive along the way...hehe..and for your info..i am the legal holder of Competent Driving Licence already..hahahahaha... hidung kembang skettt...../



Begitulah kisahnya raya ku di tahun 2012. lama juga yer tak hapdate blog ni.. berhabuk dah nampaknya.  mungkin lepas ni aktive skit kot nak story mory more about ma life as a wanna be muslimah sejati. Insyaallah.. wish me luck.. never try never know

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Gift Of A Friend


Sometimes you think you’ll be fine by yourself
‘Cause a dream is a wish that you make all alone
It’s easy to feel like you don’t need help
But it’s harder to walk on your own

You’ll change inside
When you realize

The world comes to life
And everything’s right
From beginning to end
When you have a friend
By your side
That helps you to find
The beauty you are, when you open your heart
And believe in
The gift of a friend
The gift of a friend

Someone who knows when you’re lost
And you’re scared
There through the highs and the lows
Someone to count on, someone who cares
Beside you wherever you go

You’ll change inside
When you realize

The world comes to life
And everything’s right
From beginning to end
When you have a friend
By your side
That helps you to find
The beauty you are, when you open your heart
And believe in
The gift of a friend

And when your hope crashes down
Shattering to the ground
You, you feel all alone
When you don’t know which way to go
There’s no signs leading you home
You’re not alone

The world comes to life
And everything’s bright
From beginning to end
When you have a friend
By your side
That helps you to find
The beauty you are, when you open your heart
And believe in
When you believe in
When you believe in
The gift of a friend

and now I realize...I really miss you friend :') but I know, things will never goes same again like what we used to be before.  it's all my fault. i'm the one who run and hide from you.  I don't know why I should do this but I feel so guilty because I can't help you and be there when you need me.  A true friend will never run and ignore her bestfriend but I'd do it. and the most hurt part is I've do it to you. I'm not your true friend.  That's makes me sad and disappointed toward myself.  Forgive me dear friend for letting you go alone.  For throwing a gravel while you are pulling a big rock while climbing the high road.  I'm a piece of paper.  useless. thousand apologies. Hope you can forgive me for all the things I've done and give a scar in your heart.  Thank you for everything that we have been through as far before.  Deep in myheart I still love you..........I miss you my Little Ant.

Monday, June 11, 2012

SENTAP

Assalamualaikum,

Sekali, berkali-kali asyik-asyik aku tersentap. 

Sometimes, it's better to have nothing than own a thing.  It taught you how to appreciate what is the most important task you've got to achieve.

My life now just like a kind of thing that I, myself don't understand.  Where is me?  Where is the old me?  Does she run or where she's hide?

Long ago, I've ever wrote a note that reminding myself why is the why why?

Hand over my head, thinking straight up to the ceiling, green. Yes, the color that been painted in my room.  Why? That's why!  I don't know why that why why.  Oh dholna...dil to pagal hai. The song i've been listen to right now.  Seems like I also pagal but I don't know what is 'dholna' mean then I got the point!  Maybe that 'why' stand for my stupidness in finding the meaning of my life.  I only listen without knowing the meaning and I only living without planning the ending.  I don't want my life ends without the beginning!  Maybe I still  on my way to the start point but where is it? GPS? show me the way!!

The battlefield inside my heart grow bigger and bigger everyday.  This is my life. Why I should give it to others to decide?  I, myself are an independence girl since I was a little girl.  That's why I've grown up living such a no-hearted person with an empty eyes watching others struggling so hard in making their life from tears to happiness.

Honestly,  I rarely saying the love words because as for me, love is not what you can say and yell at to anyone.  Love, the most precious and sweetest thing if you find the purer and it comes directly from your heart.  As for me, I feel so awkward when I have to tell people that "You are the most thing comes in my mind" because, I know, in  my mind, there will be nothing except the dream that I certainly wanted but will never come true unless it's my luck to achieve it.

Today I feel so ter'SENTAP' to  myself, why? why? why? I don't know and I wish I can just ignore that feeling but it's killing me softly.

Sorry for being cruel to myself.  But, at the same time maybe I've treat other with bad and worst situation.

Poor me.

tq. 






Wednesday, June 6, 2012

ASSALAMUALAIKUM W.B.T. +BISMILLAHIRRAHMANNIRRAHIM+

Flu+Cough+Nearly Fever...

Daripada hari Ahad lagi terkena FLU.  Balik kampung mesti dapat batuk.
Memang Homesick betul lah..
Today even worse sebab dah start nak berkahak dah walaupun tekak dah tak berapa gatal tp mata perit dan berair.  Hope kali ini tak effect kepala la sebab bila bow down mesti rasa sakit kepala yang teramat sangat.  Ubat??emm..clarinase sj la. malas mau on antibiotik..biarlah kali ni sembuh secara semulajadi.
Terasa ingin MC lagi tapi cukup2lah..MC pun bukan ada buat apa pun di rumah tu.  Kerja-kerja-kerja cari duit lebih untuk belanja masa hadapan. Chewahhhh...hehe

RINDU pula sama my Lady Boss.. semalam berbalas emel dengan dia.  He he he... "Missed you and HPj" she said. nah.. I replied "missed u too dr".. ngee... so sweet....

Myworkplace...
Minggu ni rest sikit. Boleh masuk lewat dari kebiasaan sebab tiada yang dikejar.  Boleh balik on time...
Heee... memang rest la..tp minggu dpan dah start balik la ni bekejar ke sana ke mari.. Laporan tahunan pun belum siap lagi.. mati laaaaa...adoiii...helpppppp...need to move out from this box.

PENAT....
Ingin rehat dari apa? ya...rehat dulu aa...tunggu hujung tahun..sabar ya...sabar...ya sabar ni..haha....

Kita hanya merancang tetapi Allah SWT lah menentukan segala-galanya.  Usaha, Doa, Tawakkal, Istiqamah dan bersabar itu paling utama pentingnya..

Okay sudah dulu aaa....

Miss My Family :)) Tempat jatuh lagi dikenang inikan pula tempat bermanja...okaybaiiiiii

Wassalam...


Tuesday, June 5, 2012

I Hate You For Treating Me Nice

Assalamualaikum...

Bismillahirrahmannirrahim..

Baru sahaja kembali dari bercuti dari Pitas, Sabah my hometown selama seminggu..
Seronok rasanya dapat bersama keluarga walaupun masa agak terhad dan padat dengan kesibukan menguruskan majlis kenduri kahwin sepupu di sebelah rumah.. everything was organized by our siblings...

emm.. i hate being treated so nice. so I hate you.

why? 
why?
why?

setiap persoalan ada jawapan. setiap permasalahan ada jalan penyelesaian.

so please, be nice but don't treat me nicely.

I am a Very Humble person. I Live in a simple Family, simple life but complicated mind (inside).  I like to talk only to myself when I found out no one wants to talk with me.  I love My Lil Brother Farhan and always miss him so much!

But, 

Tidak mengapalah, jika kau berkata demikian, aku yang menurut perintah.

Terima kasih. terima kasih. terima kasih.

ini adalah post yang paling kucar kacir sekali di kala ini.

wassalam...


Friday, April 20, 2012

Aku Pelik Tapi Aku Bersyukur

assalamualaikum,

apa khabarmu di sana? lama sudah tak berjumpa.. weh, updating blog ok..kelas gitu..hehe

ok..ok..i got it..i got it...sila gunakan bahasa melayu tinggi bah sayang!!

Dimulakan dengan Bismillahirrahmanirrahim,

Ingin kukisahkan tentang kesedihan tetapi di manakah kesudahan?
Ingin kukisahkan tentang kegembiraan tetapi di manakah gerangan?
Menjadi diriku, menjadi dirimu, menjadi dirinya
Ya, menjadi diri masing-masing

Tiada lagi berakhir di Januari.  Kemalasan untuk memikirkan tentang kesudahannya membuatku terus meninggalkan segala-galanya.  walaupun kemuncak ini, hati selalu disentap oleh keadaan yang berbeza.

semoga tiada lagi yang dapat merobek, merentap, menggugat keselambaan yang aku jalani ketika ini.

terima kasih.



Monday, April 16, 2012

FINALLY!!!

Assalamualaikum w.b.t
Akhirnya dapat juga aku access ke dalam blog aku ni semula...syukur alhamdulillah...itulah pentingnya email recovery.
apa yang mau di'update' ini ya?
firstly,I am still single, so don't mess with me. Hahaha
Secondly,
Bila la dapat transfer balik sabah ni ya? ko tanya kau jawab sendiri..macamanala mau transfer kalau surat tukar pun belum buat lagi... beri aku kekuatan....huhuhu....
Thirdly,
Aku tak suka ketuat..kenapa? walaupun lepas kita buang, tp lepas tu still akan muncul lagi....haishhh..begitula perasaan terhadap orang yang kita tak sepatutnya suka/minat...boleh minat tapi tak sepatutnya lah..hahahaha...so bila mau buang perasaan minat tu dpt hilang sekejap sj..lepas tu muncul lagi..stress kan...
Seterusnya,
mau update lagi blog ini..untuk bicara2 sendiri..eyaaaa....yeaaaa...
bye...c u then...
wassalam...