Friend..please don't leave me because I'm not perfect

Assalamualaikum,.

Hari ini, aku rasa sedih lagi. Sedih sikitlah berbanding sedih dulu.  Kenapakah itu?

Friend.. please don't leave me because I'm not perfect.

Entahlah.. memang kali tiap kali rapat dengan orang mesti kena touching..merajuk.. aku tak tau  pujuk.. aku yang jahat.. aku yang bla bla bla.. semua yang jahat aku lah.. so aku kena mengalah.. biarlah.. macam tu? eya macam tu la.. siapa suruh kau jadi kawan macam tu. Cubalah jadi kawan yang sempoi.  ye dak? berkawan biar seribu, sakitnya bukan berbatu-batu. berkawan biarlah penuh madu, jd racunnya bukanlah kamu. ewah..

Berkawanlah dengan ikhlas supaya tiada penyesalan di kemudian nanti.

Sekian, terima kasih.

wslm.

Write and Read (Tulis dan Baca)

Assalamualaikum w.b.t..

Hai guys, girl, boy, pakcik, makcik, insan sepi, insan seni, insan-insan.. hehe...
how r u? wassup wassup?

Today, I'll like to write something about something.

Eh, eh before that, well, so long time no see yah? How do you do? Well, me it's kinda like, eh, I've got boyfie already and I am so in love. eh? ok ok..

straight to the point, straight to the point.

Today, this afternoon, me myself, want to write something about writing.

Dear fella, why I like to write?

Like this, eh (DT)

I like to write something not because I was good in writing or so on.

I like to write because I love to read? What does the link? Write and Read. Like and Love.  Like is a kind of situation you do in freely will. SO you will write when you feel free and got something to share.  Love is a situation/condition that you always wanted. SO this is mean that, I love to read coz I'd rather read than talk often. He he he.  Still didn't get my point?

I like to write because I Love to read back what I wrote in future, the more I write, the more letter I can read in the future.  Even though my writing is not neat enough, but at least I write something and it's a story about my life and it's something that can be my memory.  Hehe.. i'm so poor in memorizing thing, situation and something, so my writing sometimes helps me alot.

okay, tutup pasal Write and Read, aku mahu tulis sesuatu pula.. sesuatu yang lama tapi masih segar dan takkan expired (in Shaa' Allah)..

22 November 2013 - Declaring New Relationship

Pada tarikh tersebut, aku telah mengisytiharkan (declare) perhubunganku dengan seseorang (ya'ni lelaki) hehe.. well, sound mengenyam kan? tapi itulah kenyataannya. Yeahh Aeja fell in love again. and she felt so lovely.. eh eh..

Tapi yang pastinya, day by day I fell in love more and more with him. so next, kahwin la ya? tunggu lagi 5 tahun.. huhu...

k baiii...

Alhamdulillah.. Thank You Allah...

Assalamualaikum,

Lama tidak menjenguk dan menulis di sini.

Ya Allah, aku bersyukur Ya Allah.  Hari ini merupakan hari yang terindah kurasakan.
Walaupun orang lain menganggap keputusan 3B 2C itu keputusan sederhana tp bagi aku dan familyku, itu merupakan keputusan yang membanggakan sekali buat kami sekeluarga.  Hari ini keputusan UPSR telah diumumkan, dan adikku Muhamad Khaliq Farhan bin Abd. Malek telah berjaya memperoleh keputusan tersebut tanpa gagal mana-mana subjek.  Tahniah adik acheeq, walaupun farhan autistik tp farhan boleh menjawab soalan peperiksaan spt budak-budak normal yang lain.  mudah-mudahan kejayaan terus mengiringi perjalananmu adik.  Kami sayang sangat-sangat Farhan.

Fuhhh.... berdegup degap juga jantung tunggu result diumumkan tadi. Untuk menjadi orang pertama tahu result aku siap schedule message delivery kat hp.. result keluar jam 10 pagi so aku pun set kan timer utk send mesej tu.  Alhamdulillah, we are so proud of you my lil. bro. You are such an inspiration to other kids. Mengajarmu memerlukan kesabaran yang tinggi.  Even acheeq pun kadang-kadang tertewas dalam memberi bimbingan dan tunjuk ajar kpd farhan.  Ummi jugaklah insan yang tabah dan penyabar dalam mendidik anak-anak.  Maka hargailah ummi anda.  Terima kasih ummi kerana menjadi ibu terbaik kpd kami anak-anakmu. Terima kasih juga abah sebab menjadi penjaga terbaik keluarga kita.  Semua dengan peranan masing-masing yang dijalankan dengan ikhlas dan jayanya. I love my family. In Shaa Allah keluargaku sakinah....

Aamiin...

Long Time Journey

Assalamualaikum Warahmatullahi Ta'ala Wabarakatuh...

Hi, it's been a long time since I didn't take a peak and looking onto this page because recently I've been busy with something that I don't know what? Maybe I'm just linger around wasting my time but sincerely I do so and feel wasted about what I've earn in my living just now. What did I've earn? I didn't earn too much I just like day by day feel lost and stuck into something that make my head feel dizzy and sometimes makes me feel like wanting to hit it on the hard wall.  Just let it broke into pieces then when I feel sorry I'll come back picking up the pieces and stick it back together with the glue.  Am I sick by thinking of something that irrelevant? Am I?

The question with no final Answer.. That's all what we all talk about everyday.  We keep on asking by the meantime we already know the answer.  So why we came up with nothing we have done just sitting and let thing happen? That's us "human being" that is nothing awkward for being a human coz it's our nature.  For not being thankful for what Allah has given to us..... always like that... Masya Allah..

The year of 2013 - this is the year that I feel like I don't deserve anything in this whole world.  Why dear?? All people around me who loves me, taking care of me, believe in me and so on.. but me? myself -- wasting my time by chasing people who didn't deserve my kindness, my love,my attention and my faith.. it's just me?? I'm sorry for that.

Today, I declare myself to deactivate one of my social network account just for a while because I feel annoying about myself by shouting my private life my dumb pic my silly thought in the wall for people put their attention to me. That's not me. Even at all.. I hate it.

Today also, i've send an application and my wish to change my attitude my time my mind set hoping that this application will be accepted by that receiver as for me I really hope to get into those place.. Really really hope since I've enter this job.

i wish that my wish will come true.

It's me MT Aeja talking about my wish and come up with miscellaneous things...

Friend Or Foe??

Assalamualaikum,.

Gambar motif: Cuba lari dari kenyataan akhirnya dapat penampar??

Hai, how's your day? I hope it will be good and always better everyday.. day by day..

Think of me?

No... I don't think you will do so?

Why you want to make thing so complicated before?

Yeah..

I have friend and friends.

I do have them, but do they have me?

I don't know.

You can say better thing, but you will never know what will comes along..

Life is a journey. Everyone has they own journey. So be it. Just be you. No matter what people will talk bad about you but it's you. Maybe they were true, so why not? Just accept what they talk about you but unless it's true.

People always said, know your enemy.. but don't they want to know their friend? I do want to know my friend.  I know some of them but what I don't know is, are they will to be my friend? oR they just want to hang over with me, for a reason?? I really don't like that kind of situation.. I think it's goes the same with other.  Either you and I, do didn't want to be in a situation where your friend only be there when they need you.. not when they feel you need them...

Ini bukan novel okay.  Ini kenyataan hidup.

Hari ini rasa macam mau tulis pasal "How You Treat People and How You Want Them To Treat You Back?"

Situasinya macam ini.

Berada di kelompok baru.

Bagi aku, apabila berada di dalam kelompok yang baru, aku akan menjadi pendiam dulu.  Mata memerhati, minda meneliti.  Bukan memilih tapi menyesuaikan diri.  Seterusnya, aku akan cuba bergerak mengikut masa.  Tetapi yang penting, kita haruslah melayan sesiapa sahaja samarata.

Permulaan yang baik tidak semestinya merupakan penentu sesuatu berjalan lancar pada akhirnya.  Kadang-kadang, permulaan yang tidak sempurna itu lebih menjamin keharmonian dalam sesuatu perhubungan.  ha ha ha ha.. Menangis dahulu ketawa kemudian. (pfffff.......)

Kehidupan ini tidak pernah akan menemui kesudahan sehinggalah kita menemui titik ajal iaitu di saat Malaikat maut menjemputmu.  Oleh itu, berkawanlah dengan semua orang dan bermusuhlah dengan diri sendiri.  Eh?? Ada pula macam tu? huhuhuhu...udah2 ler tu kak. buruk sangat.

k bye...

It's me, MTA talking about whatever...

FORGET ME?? I KILL YOU!!!

Apa perlu saya buat?? Que terlalu LAMA....

Assalamualaikum,...

Today's entry will be about? Rebate smartphone RM200.00 for youth age from 18-30 yrs old. Student and employee's monthly salary not exceed Rm3,000.00. wah.. seem so interesting but i've already bought a new smartphone. So I think no need to use this opportunity 'coz u also have to paid in a big amount just to get a new smartphone??? oh no... but it's okay.. ini semua duniawiiiii.... why don't they give us rebat to perform hajj?? haa... SAME STORY GOES TO THIS DUNIAWI THINGS LAH.. why don't govt give us a rebate to perform hajj.. for eligible muslim/ah with t&c.. 1Malaysia.. yes.. MALAYSIA!! we are ISLAM's country, why don't give all MUSLIMs a high priority.. so there will be no racial issue raise.

Dunia politik sekarang ni aku makin x paham.. apa yang diperjuangkan sebenarnya?? so better tak ambik port sangat..

Apa perlu saya buat?? Que terlalu lama...... this is a situation..true story and a complain from a patient to a Govt Hospital's service. weyyyyyy... initiative!! if u don't want to wait for a long que.. do something.. it's all about you. why dont you go to another GP clinic. spend some money if you don't want to spend some time (what a waste).

This is my channel to speak what inside of mine. so please don't get annoy.

Take care.

Wassalam.

MTAeja. Randomly writing.

I write a note, and it's a note ^_~

I have to take it all even though it's so hard.. Contoh bagi redha itu ikhlas pasrah itu menyerah.. Merelakan yg telah pergi tanpa meminta utk kembali.. Just be thankful for every moment yg telah dikongsi bersama.. Tiada peluang kedua yg sama.. Setelah apa yg terjadi., melalui pergaduhan perbalahan dalam sesebuah perhubungan ternyata kita lebih memahami bahawa kekeruhan ternyata telah berlaku. Setelah lama tidak menulis nota-nota kehidupan di sini ternyata i feel so weak and couldn't stop asking why.. ?? Hanya memerlukan kekuatan utk kekal kuat.. Kuat utk menerima perbuatan org lain terhadap diri ini. Apa yg terjadi sebenarnya cik adik? Perlukah dibahaskan apa yg terjadi? Stop the tears dear keep ur faith and be strong ^_^

My name is aeja. I am 23rd years old lady who living in this so untrimmed life who belong to me. Everyday i keep talking bout change change change from good to better. But still, it's still me the same old one no changes at all. Dengar tak hari tu sahabatmu pernah berpesan? Jangan terlalu bergantung kepada kehidupan duniawi semata-mata. Letakkan dunia itu di tangan dan akhirat di hatimu.. Kerana sesungguhnya manusia dicipta utk beribadah kepada Allah. Apa dikisahkan dengan kehidupan yg penuh kepalsuan ini? Apa ? Apa? Apa? Kisahkah kau dengan kehilangan? Kenapa bercakap tentang kerinduan kpd insan? Cukupkah kau merindui sujudmu kpd yg Esa?Dalam hidup ini, kita perlu tegas terhadap diri sendiri sebelum kita bertegas dengan org lain. Dahulukan kpd diri sendiri sebelum kita mengubah org lain. Kerana perubahan terbesar adalah sanggup berubah dan menerima perubahan diri. Di sinilah aku tidak layak untuk bercakap tentang kehidupan dan di sinilah aku mulai merasai kekerdilan. Masih adakah ruang dan waktu utk aku berubah?Dear my friend who I always hurt the most, please forgive me bcose tonight.. Once again I feel lost and I don't want to be with you. Yes, not you but you my friend.. You're avoiding me I know that but I just don't want to admit it. So I leave.. Once again but this time i leave in silent.. Without uve ever notice.. Slow and steady like nothing ever happen..Nota ini bercampur tapi tajuknya tetap sama.. My note and i write a note.. Tq.. Keep faithful coz u will gone so soon sooner or later ^_~

Sedikit gambar-Gambar kaki untuk ditatap umum:

aku suka berjaga sampai tengah malam.. reason?? jiwa kacau kadang2...hampa......

Tangan kiri selalu lenguh.. cuba buat electric wave... (kerja hospital banyaklah  medical equipment yg boleh dicoba)

one of my favorite food :::::: perasanla tu ada mix chinesse blood..wheeehheee

yes!! peminat mocha juga ~_^

aku juga suka perasan cute ^_^ haha.. sapa lagi mau rasa cute kalau bukan diri sendiri kan...

okay, that's all for today. So long, farewell and semoga berjumpa lagi di lain hari.

MTAeja: talking about so soon lagi ^_~

When I Said "U Went So Soon" that's mean U Left So SOon.....

Hidup umpama cermin yang menayangkan apa yang dipantulkan.

Sejak kebelakangan ini aku rasa sedih dalam diam. Tanpa ada sebab untuk aku menyatakan kesedihan.

Walaupun aku tahu kenapa aku rasa sedih tapi aku tak dapat rasakan yang kesedihan itu bermakna kerana hanya di pihak aku sahaja yang merasakan. Sedangkan di pihak lain tiada makna.

Perkenalan yang singkat boleh mengeratkan silaturahim, tapi apabila tiba suatu ketika timbul konflik dan permasalahan, hubungan itu boleh terputus begitu sahaja. Seperti tidak bermakna. Sebab itulah bila dengan lirik lagu Maher Zain "So Soon" aku rasa sangat tersentuh. Lirik lagu tu sama seperti apa yang aku rasakan sekarang ini.

Every time I close my eyes I see you in front of me

I still can hear your voice calling out my name

And I remember all the stories you told me

I miss the time you were around (x2)

But I’m so grateful for every moment I spent with you

‘Cause I know life won’t last forever

You left so soon, so soon

I have to move on ’cause I know it’s been too long

I’ve got to stop the tears, keep my faith and be strong

I’ll try to take it all, even though it’s so hard

I see you in my dreams but when I wake up you are gone

Gone so soon

And I remember you in every prayer that I make

Every single day may you be shaded by His mercy

But life is not the same, and it will never be the same

But I’m so thankful for every memory I shared with you

That to God we all belong, and to Him we’ll return, ooh

You went so soon, so soon

Night and day, I still feel you are close to me

Cause I know this life is not forever

There were days when I had no strength to go on

I felt so weak and I just couldn’t help asking: “Why?”

But I got through all the pain when I truly accepted

Hati berbolak-balik di dalamnya. Semoga aku dapat melupakan apa sahaja yang bisa membuat aku menangis......

FAKE THE FEELING, MAKE IT TRUE

Assalamualaikum w.b.t.. today's entry...

Hi guys who are not watching... hehe... today's entry will be about the fake feeling..

Do you guys know what is the fake feeling?

I always confusing and tempted to feel the things that my heart not supposed to... why arr?
Is that a way to express thing or just to take care of other feeling cause you also don't know what is their acceptance towards your respon....

Kebelakangan ini, aku mendapat ramai kawan.. ada daripada mereka kawan aku since study lagi.. lately kitorang jadi close balik sbb selalu jumpa dan spent time sama2... ada juga yg menjadi rapat dengan aku since slalu spent time jugak... what is your tips?? how to divide ur time to spent with them?? i've ever try to spend time along... within dis two different group.. cuba untuk bersama-sama meluangkan masa dan memperkenalkan mereka.. so i dont have to spent the different time... sebab bila jadi aku terpksa cancel time dgn grup ni sbb kena jumpa grup ni... sangat serbasalah jadinya... how how how??? aku pernah terpikir... kalau aku boleh terima kawan mereka..mesti dorang pn boleh terima kawan aku kan? berlaku adil itulah yang cuba aku lakukan... kalau tak paham juga memang aku takleh nak kata apa sebab aku rasa aku ni takdela penting pun bagi dorang.. aku ada aku takda sama jer.... so i choose to leave it and let the time show it...

so apa kaitannya dengan fake feeling?

ha ha ha.. so this is the reason why i brought up the issue... you know what? u cant be other person just to make others happy. aku selalu berpesan kepada diriku.. untuk menjadi gembira jangan berharap pada orang lain untuk menggembirakanmu.. aku selalu beringat bahawa orang lain mempunyai kehidupan sendiri.. jangan samakan kehidupan orang lain dengan kehidupanmu... sekiranya kau cuba untuk menyamakannya,,... di situlah konflik perasaan palsu bermula.. let's say,. when u re sad,. u don't have to expect people to do the same. aku sedihlaaaa... pasai pa ko buat aku tmbah sedih lagi... aghhh thats not me at all. I can promise u to do what u want me to do.. but I cant make sure that what u want is exactly what I've promised to you... manusia ni berbagai.. ada yang tahu menghargai ada yang buta hati.. aku tak tau la aku kategori mana.. kalau diikutkan mungkin rate paling tinggi aku ni dalam group butahati kot... ermm,,.. okay what to do.. don't ever judge me coz u will never know me even u are the closest one.. that's a fact about me.. the more u know me the more you will find out how stranger I am...

so, guys., do I have to fake the feeling and make it true? What a waste... I don't think I cant *can make it la..... lets be honest and faham2 je la kan... orang lain juga akan berbuat perkara yang sama.. kalau tak suka kata tak suka.. kalau benci kata benci.. kalau marah kata marah... kalau sayang kata sayang... urm...got to go... sebelum aku merepek yang bukan-bukan lagi baik aku blahhh.... haha...

it's me talking about feeling...

ughhh...

Innallah Ma'ana.....

Assalamualaikum w.b.t

Sampai waktu, cukup waktu, dari mana kita datang di situ jualah kita dikembalikan.

Pernahkah anda semua merasa berduka?  Pasti ada, pasti pernah. Walaupun jarang tp waktunya pasti memberikan seribu satu rasa yang sangat menyakitkan. Tapi dalam kedukaan itu, pernahkah kita sekali bertanya pada hati? apa ada di dalamnya? apa yang mendukakannya? Ya Allah, di situlah khilafnya hati tanpa mengenangNya.

Kedukaan itu tiada yang abadi. Allah tidak membiarkan hambaNya terus-terusan berduka.  Dalam kedukaan itu, Allah telah menyusurkan satu cahaya. Kerana Allah itu Maha Mengetahui hambaNya.  

Allah tahu, hambaNya hanya akan mempunyai kesedaran yang tinggi tika dukanya datang.

Innallaha Ma'ana Hasbunaallah wani'mal wakeel (Allah is Suffiecient for us and the best of those whom to depend).  Ya Allah besar sungguh kekuasaanMU tika mana hati ini merasa duka, dengan MengingatMu, hati ini terasa lapangnya.  Sesama hamba, bukan untuk kita bergantung rasa.  Sesama hamba, kita boleh berbagi rasa tapi bukan tempat kita bersandar, bukan tempat kita bergantung harap.  

Pada Allah kita semaikan ketakwaan, pada Allah kita bersatu harapan. Hanya pada Allah kita panjatkan kesyukuran.

Jazakallahkhairan. Ilalliqo'

Wassalam.

It's just me, talking about life.

MT Aeja.

Syawal Menjelma Lagi.......

Assalamualaikum w.b.t..

Today's post will be about my Syawal's at my hometown.

First of all, I'd like to wish you Salam Eidulfitri, maaf zahir batin.

Even raya's month nearly catch the tip of it but it's not too late for me the tell the story merely a little piece of it in my blog. 

First of syawal - 19 Ogos 2012

This is the first year we celebrate syawal without my Grandma's appearance.

Firstly I feel so wonder why I did not rush early in the morning.  Everythings goes slow and I feel like why aa?  Then I realized one thing.  I try to recall, the years of past syawal.  First thing I do early in the morning is come into granny's room, take her to bath, prepare her cloth,  feed her and makes her beautiful lady.  Now, me no longer have an opportunity to do those thing.  But, me myself feel so grateful because I ever had that opportunity to take care of my grandmother and what makes me feel so touch is she ever told me a week before she passed away "kaulah cucuku yang lemah lembut menjaga nenek", me so damn much feels like crying when she told me that and I know her time will come soon. Missed you so much nenek.

Raya pertama kami sekeluarga bermula dengan menunggu kehadiran tetamu yang singgah beraya dari jam 9 pagi sehingga 3 petang.  Rancangan awal mau tutup rumah jam 1tengahari tapi tetamu tak putus-putus berkunjung. Last2 jam 3 petang baru dapat tutup rumah dan pergi beraya mengunjungi saudara mara jauh dan dekat.  Seriously  I told you, this is the first time ever kami sekeluarga dapat beraya beramai-ramai di hari raya pertama.  Mungkin sebab nenek dah takde so kitorang dah tak berganti-ganti beraya sebab mesti ada yang tunggu kat rumah untuk jaga nenek and tunggu saudara mara serta tetamu yang datang menziarahi nenek. Kami sekeluarga beraya sehingga menjelang maghrib.  Maghrib je kami pun balik rumah dan berehat untuk menunggu esok hari bagi menyambung lagi perayaan kami. eh? haha

This photo taken masa raya pertama time tetamu tengah ramai kat depan.  me plak duduk merehatkan diri sebentar bermain dengan anakbuah aku yang super extreme nakal agresif nazhim and memeow the potet kucing mysis amenz.

Raya kedua:
Raya kedua adalah hari beraya bersama keluarga dari pagi hingga ke petang dari kerasik hingga ke pinggan-pinggan.  hehe.. me plak raya kedua wearing turqoise kurong pahang. No pics allowed cos forgot to take some.  excited raya punya pasal kan sebab takpernah-pernah beraya sakan ke rumah orang.  Selalu duduk rumah je tunggu orang datang.  ehehehe... tu jelah.

Raya ketiga:

This raya ketiga adalah Hari Majlis Pertunangan Sepupu Sepapat aku,. so awal pagi dah datang ke rumah mereka untuk membantu apa yang perlu.  Apa yang perlu tu? hehe..me, mysis amenz, and my superb cousin ara menyediakan salad buah untuk kenduri.  from eight til 11am kitorang struggling menyiapkan salad tu then menyusun kedudukan meja banquet utk makan thari nanti. pastu kitorang balik umah dolu untuk bercantik. haha.. so below is the photos of mine and my cuzzy yang bertunang tu.  She's so sweet.  nah tunang orang sudah. me bila lagi? opsss.. i want an engineer. ahaahaha.. kidding. ;)

Left: Mizriani (my cousin belah mymum anak my pakngah) Right on the right is me wearing purple my fav color okay!!

Nah telah menjadi tunangan zul yang nama sebenarnya aku pun ndak tau..haha..yang penting si zul ni anak kepada pakcik aku sebelah mymum iaitu abang sepupu mymum belah my late grandmother.

Akulah fotographer aku la jua tukang bawa dulang.. bila plak turn aku sampai ye and yg paling penting ada ke yang nak berkhidmat untuk aku macam ni?? ermm...tunggu jela deq oiiii

HOwever it is, this is my superhero. Always in my heart. My dear Farhan.  Love you so much cayanggggg

Raya keempat,

Tunggu punya tunggu punya tunggu janji punya janji punya janji akhirnya datang juga si kawan baik aku ini.  Raya keempat tu kami menjalankan misi berada di rumah sahaja tanpa arah tujuan kerana tak lama lagi majlis perkahwinan sepupu sebelah my mum diadakan di rumah kami.  So, malam tu selepas makcik makcik aku memotong daging kat dapur maka datanglah encik mohd hishamuddin ini beraya di rumah aku.  Sebelum  ni dia memang nak datang tapi ada je halangan.  siap order kek coklat lagi macam tahun tahun lepas but this year aku tak buat dah kek coklat.  Turn mysis amenz yang menguasai bab2 tu. So my amen pun buatkan la si mamat ni kekcoklat kegemarannya. eh, he is my bestfriend tau!! close friend yang suweeettt... haha

 skip terus ke raya ke 6 ye,.. hehe
 Raya ke6 adalah majlis pernikahan thus persandingan my cuzzie di kediaman kami... jengjengjeng..below is da photo of pelamin's designer cik dyg norliza a.k.a my along. memang talent dia la kalau bab2 design ni.. nasib je jadi Pen. Pegawai Farmasi, kalau tak konferm dah ada kedai bridal dah kami.. hehe... dan seterusnya let the photos tell the story la.. malas eden mau beceloteh panjang.. apa apa pun raya memang meriah..weeeee.....

 

Ni raya yang ke berapa puluh dah ni..haha..beraya di kota raya a.k.a from pandan jaya to midvalley and so what?? aku drive along the way...hehe..and for your info..i am the legal holder of Competent Driving Licence already..hahahahaha... hidung kembang skettt...../

Begitulah kisahnya raya ku di tahun 2012. lama juga yer tak hapdate blog ni.. berhabuk dah nampaknya.  mungkin lepas ni aktive skit kot nak story mory more about ma life as a wanna be muslimah sejati. Insyaallah.. wish me luck.. never try never know

Gift Of A Friend

Sometimes you think you’ll be fine by yourself

‘Cause a dream is a wish that you make all alone

It’s easy to feel like you don’t need help

But it’s harder to walk on your own

You’ll change inside

When you realize

The world comes to life

And everything’s right

From beginning to end

When you have a friend

By your side

That helps you to find

The beauty you are, when you open your heart

And believe in

The gift of a friend

The gift of a friend

Someone who knows when you’re lost

And you’re scared

There through the highs and the lows

Someone to count on, someone who cares

Beside you wherever you go

You’ll change inside

When you realize

The world comes to life

And everything’s right

From beginning to end

When you have a friend

By your side

That helps you to find

The beauty you are, when you open your heart

And believe in

The gift of a friend

And when your hope crashes down

Shattering to the ground

You, you feel all alone

When you don’t know which way to go

There’s no signs leading you home

You’re not alone

The world comes to life

And everything’s bright

From beginning to end

When you have a friend

By your side

That helps you to find

The beauty you are, when you open your heart

And believe in

When you believe in

When you believe in

The gift of a friend

and now I realize...I really miss you friend :') but I know, things will never goes same again like what we used to be before.  it's all my fault. i'm the one who run and hide from you.  I don't know why I should do this but I feel so guilty because I can't help you and be there when you need me.  A true friend will never run and ignore her bestfriend but I'd do it. and the most hurt part is I've do it to you. I'm not your true friend.  That's makes me sad and disappointed toward myself.  Forgive me dear friend for letting you go alone.  For throwing a gravel while you are pulling a big rock while climbing the high road.  I'm a piece of paper.  useless. thousand apologies. Hope you can forgive me for all the things I've done and give a scar in your heart.  Thank you for everything that we have been through as far before.  Deep in myheart I still love you..........I miss you my Little Ant.

SENTAP

Assalamualaikum,

Sekali, berkali-kali asyik-asyik aku tersentap. 

Sometimes, it's better to have nothing than own a thing.  It taught you how to appreciate what is the most important task you've got to achieve.

My life now just like a kind of thing that I, myself don't understand.  Where is me?  Where is the old me?  Does she run or where she's hide?

Long ago, I've ever wrote a note that reminding myself why is the why why?

Hand over my head, thinking straight up to the ceiling, green. Yes, the color that been painted in my room.  Why? That's why!  I don't know why that why why.  Oh dholna...dil to pagal hai. The song i've been listen to right now.  Seems like I also pagal but I don't know what is 'dholna' mean then I got the point!  Maybe that 'why' stand for my stupidness in finding the meaning of my life.  I only listen without knowing the meaning and I only living without planning the ending.  I don't want my life ends without the beginning!  Maybe I still  on my way to the start point but where is it? GPS? show me the way!!

The battlefield inside my heart grow bigger and bigger everyday.  This is my life. Why I should give it to others to decide?  I, myself are an independence girl since I was a little girl.  That's why I've grown up living such a no-hearted person with an empty eyes watching others struggling so hard in making their life from tears to happiness.

Honestly,  I rarely saying the love words because as for me, love is not what you can say and yell at to anyone.  Love, the most precious and sweetest thing if you find the purer and it comes directly from your heart.  As for me, I feel so awkward when I have to tell people that "You are the most thing comes in my mind" because, I know, in  my mind, there will be nothing except the dream that I certainly wanted but will never come true unless it's my luck to achieve it.

Today I feel so ter'SENTAP' to  myself, why? why? why? I don't know and I wish I can just ignore that feeling but it's killing me softly.

Sorry for being cruel to myself.  But, at the same time maybe I've treat other with bad and worst situation.

Poor me.

tq. 

ASSALAMUALAIKUM W.B.T. +BISMILLAHIRRAHMANNIRRAHIM+

Flu+Cough+Nearly Fever...

Daripada hari Ahad lagi terkena FLU.  Balik kampung mesti dapat batuk.
Memang Homesick betul lah..
Today even worse sebab dah start nak berkahak dah walaupun tekak dah tak berapa gatal tp mata perit dan berair.  Hope kali ini tak effect kepala la sebab bila bow down mesti rasa sakit kepala yang teramat sangat.  Ubat??emm..clarinase sj la. malas mau on antibiotik..biarlah kali ni sembuh secara semulajadi.
Terasa ingin MC lagi tapi cukup2lah..MC pun bukan ada buat apa pun di rumah tu.  Kerja-kerja-kerja cari duit lebih untuk belanja masa hadapan. Chewahhhh...hehe

RINDU pula sama my Lady Boss.. semalam berbalas emel dengan dia.  He he he... "Missed you and HPj" she said. nah.. I replied "missed u too dr".. ngee... so sweet....

Myworkplace...
Minggu ni rest sikit. Boleh masuk lewat dari kebiasaan sebab tiada yang dikejar.  Boleh balik on time...
Heee... memang rest la..tp minggu dpan dah start balik la ni bekejar ke sana ke mari.. Laporan tahunan pun belum siap lagi.. mati laaaaa...adoiii...helpppppp...need to move out from this box.

PENAT....
Ingin rehat dari apa? ya...rehat dulu aa...tunggu hujung tahun..sabar ya...sabar...ya sabar ni..haha....

Kita hanya merancang tetapi Allah SWT lah menentukan segala-galanya.  Usaha, Doa, Tawakkal, Istiqamah dan bersabar itu paling utama pentingnya..

Okay sudah dulu aaa....

Miss My Family :)) Tempat jatuh lagi dikenang inikan pula tempat bermanja...okaybaiiiiii

Wassalam...

I Hate You For Treating Me Nice

Assalamualaikum...

Bismillahirrahmannirrahim..

Baru sahaja kembali dari bercuti dari Pitas, Sabah my hometown selama seminggu..

Seronok rasanya dapat bersama keluarga walaupun masa agak terhad dan padat dengan kesibukan menguruskan majlis kenduri kahwin sepupu di sebelah rumah.. everything was organized by our siblings...

emm.. i hate being treated so nice. so I hate you.

why? 

why?

why?

setiap persoalan ada jawapan. setiap permasalahan ada jalan penyelesaian.

so please, be nice but don't treat me nicely.

I am a Very Humble person. I Live in a simple Family, simple life but complicated mind (inside).  I like to talk only to myself when I found out no one wants to talk with me.  I love My Lil Brother Farhan and always miss him so much!

But, 

Tidak mengapalah, jika kau berkata demikian, aku yang menurut perintah.

Terima kasih. terima kasih. terima kasih.

ini adalah post yang paling kucar kacir sekali di kala ini.

wassalam...

Aku Pelik Tapi Aku Bersyukur

assalamualaikum,

apa khabarmu di sana? lama sudah tak berjumpa.. weh, updating blog ok..kelas gitu..hehe

ok..ok..i got it..i got it...sila gunakan bahasa melayu tinggi bah sayang!!

Dimulakan dengan Bismillahirrahmanirrahim,

Ingin kukisahkan tentang kesedihan tetapi di manakah kesudahan?

Ingin kukisahkan tentang kegembiraan tetapi di manakah gerangan?

Menjadi diriku, menjadi dirimu, menjadi dirinya

Ya, menjadi diri masing-masing

Tiada lagi berakhir di Januari.  Kemalasan untuk memikirkan tentang kesudahannya membuatku terus meninggalkan segala-galanya.  walaupun kemuncak ini, hati selalu disentap oleh keadaan yang berbeza.

semoga tiada lagi yang dapat merobek, merentap, menggugat keselambaan yang aku jalani ketika ini.

terima kasih.

FINALLY!!!

Assalamualaikum w.b.t
Akhirnya dapat juga aku access ke dalam blog aku ni semula...syukur alhamdulillah...itulah pentingnya email recovery.
apa yang mau di'update' ini ya?
firstly,I am still single, so don't mess with me. Hahaha
Secondly,
Bila la dapat transfer balik sabah ni ya? ko tanya kau jawab sendiri..macamanala mau transfer kalau surat tukar pun belum buat lagi... beri aku kekuatan....huhuhu....
Thirdly,
Aku tak suka ketuat..kenapa? walaupun lepas kita buang, tp lepas tu still akan muncul lagi....haishhh..begitula perasaan terhadap orang yang kita tak sepatutnya suka/minat...boleh minat tapi tak sepatutnya lah..hahahaha...so bila mau buang perasaan minat tu dpt hilang sekejap sj..lepas tu muncul lagi..stress kan...
Seterusnya,
mau update lagi blog ini..untuk bicara2 sendiri..eyaaaa....yeaaaa...
bye...c u then...
wassalam...

My WorkPlace :)

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim...Assalamualaikum...

Hai kawan-kawan..today i want to share about my workplace..hee...Here I am.. Hospital Putrajaya...

Hospital Putrajaya Background

Macam megah je nama kan...memang GAH!! hehe...di sinilah aku mendapat peluang pekerjaan yang pertama..harus bersyukur okay..

Hospital Putrajaya :

Aku lapor diri join HPJ pada 3dis2009.  Perjalanan nak ke sini agak menyedihkan jugaklah sebab 1st kitorang semua lapor diri beramai-ramai di Jab. Perdana Menteri Putrajaya pada 1Dis2009. Pada hari yang sama kami diserahkan surat penempatan dan perlantikan JPA.  Mine dapat posting ke Kementerian Kesihatan Malaysia. The same day kami diarahkan melaporkan diri ke Kementerian masing-masing untuk mendapatkan penempatan seterusnya.  Kat KKM kitorang disuruh buat pilihan negeri mana yang nak bertugas.  Aku buat 2 pilihan, 1st  choice aku KK sabah. 2nd choice K.L coz near to my sis and bro.
The next day, dapat surat penempatan baru...aku ditempatkan di jab. kesihatan wilayah kl.  Yeehuuu la konon masa dapat surat tu.. Esoknya, 3.12.2009, aku pun lapor diri ke JKWPKL tu..
3Disember2009 - Lapor diri ke Jkwpkl- EO Sumber Manusia kata takde kosong kat situ tapi kat Hospital bawah JKWPKL ada kekosongan..Hospital apa? Hospital Putrajaya...mak aiiii betapa jauh jarak korang punya hospital dari ibupejabat...wawawa...nak nangesshhhh...macamana aku mau g sana hari ni juga...then my hero send me a taxi..aku pun pergilah ke HPJ dengan menaiki teksi.  harga taknak cerita la..huhu..mahallllllllllllll..... okay enough..menung punya menung lebih kurang 40min aku pun sampailah kat Pentadbiran Hospital Putrajaya. Isi borang kat kaunter depan tu.  Then dibawa mengadap EO sumber..  Pengarah masa tu takde sebab ada Kursus Kredentialing Pengarah Hospital kat luar.  Aku pun minta excuse kat EO tu untuk balik awal sebab mau cari rumah sewa... Nasib baiklah kat Putrajaya ni member2 aku yang lain dah ada rumah sewa..so aku pun tumpanglah mereka-mereka kat rumah sewa yang menjadi rumah sewa aku shingga kini...End of story lapor diri dah...esoknya baru datang keja tapi dah hari jumaat..hehehe..masani Pengarah datang opis. aku pun mengadap dia..sambil tu minta cuti kesian nak balik kampung sebab my brother kahwin...naseb baik dapat cuti kelayakan 2hari...huhu..k..macam tulah perjalanan melapor diriku..haha...ok bai..cerita lain plak...

tapi next time lah ye... ~OFF to Mars~

Putrajaya Global Diabetes Walk 2011 vs 2010

Bismillahirrahmannirrahim...Assalamualaikum ya akhi wa ukhti...

Today, I want to share about World Diabetes Day.. Here, i copy some information about it :

World Diabetes Day is the primary global awareness campaign of the diabetes mellitus world and is held on November 14 of each year. It was introduced in 1991 by the International Diabetes Federation and the World Health Organization in response to the alarming rise of diabetes around the world. World Diabetes Day is a campaign that features a new theme chosen by the International Diabetes Federation each year to address issues facing the global diabetes community. While the campaigns last the whole year, the day itself marks the birthday of Frederick Banting who, along with Charles Best, first conceived the idea which led to the discovery of insulin in 1922.
Each year, World Diabetes Day is centred on a theme related to diabetes. Topics covered have included diabetes and human rights, diabetes and lifestyle, diabetes and obesity, diabetes in the disadvantaged and the vulnerable, diabetes in children and adolescents.^[1] and talking about Diabetes^[2]
For 2009–2013, the theme is Diabetes Education and Prevention.

The day before, Hospital Putrajaya in-conjunction with Novo Nodisck company has organised a Putrajaya Global Diabetes Walk at Putrajaya Wetland Park..

So, me and my bestfriend : @F_Shazwanie & @ctlayhamamat (twitter), including kaknorma has joined this walk.. (since last year).  We were having so much fun.  Taking photoshoot is our most favourite part.  Everywhere we go, take pic first!!peace..hehehe..I heart them so much..muahhhh friendd....

Here i attached some pics that we take during the walk :-(version 2011)



me(the shorter one), farrah, layha

 

yeah...berjalan mengikut barisan..already walk about 4km...

this is me n layha...

ambik vitamin C kat tengah padang...

 eh..ni sapa lak?

 

 yeah...artis Putrajaya (1501 & 1502 je tau)

 (peace yo) me n farrah...

together wif Tim. Pengarah HPJ (my sweet 2nd lady Boss)

Pada hari tu (13,Nov,2011) which is Layha birthday's too - at midnite we were having a conference (between housemate2) wishing layha Happy Birthday :) - our main speaker Farrah who never getting tired to talk..haha...we laugh all nite til' we feel so tired n sleepy..we also taking pic in acara makan kek suapmenyuap but i can't uploaded it here...coz me and farrah 'head togel' lah...haha...
Pada pagi harinya (macam budak darjah satu punya cerita lorrr), kami bertiga bangun awal, mandi & solat pastu dalam 6.20am bertolak ke HPJ untuk gerak bersama Tim. Pengarah HPJ (pic above)...tahun ni kitorang berkesempatan berjalan dan mendapat baju..tidak seperti tahun lepas (2010)..hanya sempat bergambar tapi berjalannya tidak sempat.. buktinya seperti gambar di bawah : p/s - gambar ini diambil oleh seorang fotographer yang menggelar dirinya PengemysJalanan..(he got blog)..google to find out..hehe

Presenting Putrajaya Global Diabetes Walk version 2010 :

Sesi pendaftaran :)

muka blurr bla akak kat kaunter tu cakap dorang semua dah blepas dah..haha..

emm..takperla..yg penting..POSE!!ada orang ambil gambar..

Farrah : emm..yela tu..

mencari arah tujuan setelah ditinggalkan oleh peserta-peserta lain...

yeah!!sampai ke garisan penamat!!walaupun tak berjalan tetap dapat sijil..hehe...

here we go!!yeehaa...

Layha : ok! tangkap hensem2..

Farrah : wekkkk...kitorang paymes hari ni..haha

me : emm..sapolah mamat ni..dr tadi dok mensnap kitorang jak..haha...

hope this friendship Last Forever :) -love u guys <3

So, memandangkan kitorang pun baru je kat Putrajaya ni lebih kurang 2tahun, ada 2version je la..hehe..next year insyaALLAH jika berkesempatan akan join lagi...

wah, seronoknya!!!!!!

see you next year WDD...

that's all for today :)